Chuck vrs the Suicide
by j.santacruz98
Summary: This is a what if story and Chuck has finally broken down, and his realization he has lost Sarah. Casey and Sarah never knew how depressed he had become. But Ellie had been through this once before and saw the signs, that her brother had reached the tipping point. So instead of Chuck tying up Morgan and eating ice cream and drinking scotch. He finally has had enough.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chuck vrs the Suicide: This is a what- if story**_ _ **Sarah's refusal to open up, and the stress within Chuck had built up..The depression had reached a critical point. Chuck had refused to eat, or even talk, Ellie could tell something had reached a head. Deep down she knew that it must have something to do with Sarah and her brother. So instead of tying up Morgan and eating ice cream and drinking scotch he went to another dark place.**_

Ellie walked over to John Casey's Apt and knocked on his door. After the second knock Casey opened the door. "I am sorry to bother you John but I really need your help. "she began.

"What seems to the problem?" Casey replied.

"John, I am worried about Chuck he is acting strangely"

"Strangely, how I just left him at the Buy-More and he seemed ok."

"Chuck is usually a usually happy person, but he has been through a lot and I am worried that he and Sarah are having a serious fight."

" I am sure he is ok Ellie, he is a big boy!"

"John you don't understand, Chuck is usually ok but the last time I saw him this way he had been kicked out of Stanford, betrayed by Bryce, and then that bitch Jill finally plunged a knife into his heart. He went to a very bad place, and he was thinking very bad thoughts. Luckily Morgan and I were there to help him, because he was thinking of suicide then. But when I saw him this morning he had that look in his eyes. Have you any idea where he is John?".

John quickly thought that Chuck was in Castle when he left earlier, and he did had a funny look in his eyes. "I'll look for him Ellie don't worry."

"Well at least the good thing is we he doesn't have a gun!", Ellie exclaimed in relief.

As soon as John closed the door he pulled up the GPS on Chucks watch. He was still in Castle which by itself was not strange but as he pulled up video there he saw Chuck on a stool in the armory, but what made a large lump form in his throat was the presence of a .45 caliber pistol in his hand.

"Fuck No!"

He called Walkers phone, after several rings she picked it up.

Yelling loudly, " Walker we have a Code Red in Castle, leave now!"

Sarah responded, "What is the situation, Casey."

"Walker your boy-toy is going to off himself because of you idiot, go NOW!"

Sarah could not believe what she had heard, and ran out of her hotel room and drove frantically to Castle. When she arrived Casey was already exiting his Crown Vic, they ran to the entrance and both were unnerved at the sight before them. Sitting quietly was Chuck in the Armory crying and in his hand was the .45 fully loaded and the safety off. Casey wanted to yell at the nerd to put the gun down but deferred to Sarah who softly spoke to Chuck.

Chuck saw her slowly walking toward him, and told her to stop. His hands were shaking and tears falling from his eyes and his words quivering as he spoke.

"Chuck what are you doing?" she asked softly.

"I can't continue doing this Sarah; I am so messed up right now. I have lost everything, my parents, Stanford, Being betrayed by who I thought was my friend, Jill's betrayal. But I lost the only person who meant the most to me, was you Sarah. I don't have the strength to bear it anymore. After so many years I had someone come into my life who made my life worth living again. I looked into your eyes, those beautiful blue eyes and I could bear anything life threw at me."

Sarah's heart was finally breaking as his words hit home, she did love him but her job as his handler prevented her from being open to him. Telling him her hopes, dreams, of being that normal girl he so wanted. Telling him that when she kissed him, it was her own heart that fluttered uncontrollably. She wanted to tell him that she would retire to her bed at night having intense fantasies of making love together.

She then heard the bullet being clocked into chamber. Casey yelled, "Walker, tell him the truth! Protocol be dammed!, Now Walker tell him the truth."

Chuck raised his head and looked at her, "What truth, Sarah?"

"Chuck, the truth everything is that I do love you, I have been in love you from the first moment I met you and you fixed my phone. I loved you when we were eating at the Mexican restaurant and you made me laugh. I never had a man who's company I totally enjoyed as much as you. But I knew that if my bosses found out I would be reassigned and a new handler would have just thrown you into a Bunker. Because I loved you I fought to keep you out of it to protect you and your family. You're my Chuck and I love you, because without you I am just a spy. But you are my reason and hope that we can have a future together. Chuck, please let me show you how I feel. "Sarah slowly closed the distance between them and slowly touched his hand. Her other hand cupped his face and she brought her lips to his and softly kissed him.

"Chuck, please let me take the gun away from you and I promise we will talk. To hell with the CIA or Beckman, you are my life and I need you."

Chuck allowed her to take control of the gun and she passed it to Casey. He inspected it and it was fully loaded and the round was chambered.

Casey spoke to both of them, "Chuck she does love you and even I know that. I may not show it but I can see how she is when you are around. Hell, she is a basket case without you. Don't you ever pull a stupid stunt like this again! Walker, sit down now and stop being Sarah Walker the spy and be Sarah Walker the girlfriend for once in your life and tell him. Hell if they try to 49B you I will shoot anyone who tries to break you two lovebirds myself. Which is good since I need to shoot someone soon, my trigger finger is getting itchy!"

Sarah and Chuck just held on to each other, both crying at what they could have lost. Chuck, she said while looking deeply into his eyes. "I have a new mission that is to be the best girlfriend and hopefully more to you for the rest of our lives. Plus you do realize I never fail a mission, don't you? "saying this with a sly grin on her lips.

She kissed him ravenously and her hand groping all that was Chuck.

Casey looking in mocking disgust, "Would you two stop acting like two dogs in heat, dam I need a cold shower."

Sarah could only utter, groaning "OH BOY, Chuck I never knew you were soooo big!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chuck vrs the Suicide: conclusion**

 **I had someone appear confused about the time line of this story. To be honest I pictured in the third season when Chuck felt Sarah was going to leave him for Shaw and had gotten drunk after tying up Morgan. Being a fan fiction I was thinking what if a different scenario had occurred. Chuck had been pushed so far that he became suicidal at the loss of Sarah. All of the many years of pain and grief just over took his reason. Part 1 ended with Casey and Sarah rushing into castle and saving Chuck from himself, but even more importantly Sarah finally came to grips about how she felt about Chuck. Finally revealing to his sister her painful past as well, and hopefully Ellie helping to mend both Sarah's and her brother's hearts.**

The next morning Ellie had gotten up late spending a lot of the time pacing worried where her brother had been. When she went to the door to her brother's room she was surprised seeing Chuck and Sarah sleeping in the bed. They looked so peaceful and happy in each other's arms and Sarah snuggling on his chest. As she was slowly closing the door Sarah woke up greeting Ellie.

"Morning Ellie, sorry if we made too much noise last night." Sarah sleepily said.

"It's ok Sarah it is just nice to see that Chuck is ok and you are here as well!"

"Ellie could we talk, if it's ok?" Sarah replied.

"Sure I will be making us some coffee in the kitchen, see you there."

After several minutes Sarah emerged from Chuck's room dressed in a pair of Chucks sweat shirt and shorts. Her blond hair still disheveled from just waking up. The two women sat at the table taking their sips of coffee to begin their talk.

"Sarah I am glad Chuck is ok, he has not been himself for several weeks and I know you have been the same."

"To be honest Ellie I haven't been either, it has been rather hard for the two of us. "

"I saw that Sarah, that is why I reached out to John yesterday, I was happy a bad feeling and I was scared for Chuck. I saw a look on his face that made me very scared for him. "

"Ellie you told John you thought he might hurt himself?" asked Sarah.

"Yes I did, Sarah you need to understand something about my brother he is the most loving and caring man you would ever meet. But he has been through a lot, too much if you ask me .When our parents left us he was devastated, he was very close to Mom. But when she left us he blamed himself, then our dad walked out and that was another body blow to him. Luckily he had me and even sadly enough Morgan to help him through it. It was really hard helping to raise him and be Mother, Father, as well as being a sister to him. But he started to show signs of depression then but luckily he used his humor to mend the hurt he was feeling. After years of pain he finally got into Stanford, and you know what happened there. Bryce and then that bitch Jill almost killed him. Chuck almost fell off the cliff and the pain and betrayal from the two of them. He contemplated suicide and took an overdose of pills which landed him in the hospital."

"He tried to actually kill himself? Asked Sarah solemnly, "I never knew!"

This in fact was very true since Ellie explained further that she was able to keep those records sealed and kept hidden from prying eyes. The CIA nor Sarah knew of Chucks problems.

" I thought that when you entered his life he had finally found the right girl, the one I could entrust my brother to love and protect his heart . But lately I have seen this back and forth between you both and Chuck finally confided in me that he had lost you forever. He broke down in front of me crying, heartbroken, in utter despair. "

"Sarah have you ever noticed something about my brother I will let you know right now about him?" Ellie continued to say.

"No what Ellie, please tell me."

"I bet you have date quite a few men and know how they are around women , always trying to scope out a woman's assets. But if you notice my brother he doesn't! He remains the utmost gentleman and doesn't notice other women, especially when he has feelings for one. Can you guess what my brother is attracted to with you Sarah?"

"No, Ellie.""

"It's your eyes Sarah, my brother told me most emphatically that when he first looked into your eyes you captured his soul. You smile made his heart leap one thousand feet high. But when you first spoke to him, he told me Sarah it was like a choir of angels were singing at heaven's gate."

Sarah began to blush at hearing this and Ellie abruptly continue.

"Sarah just like you're doing now, you're blushing at how Chuck feels about you, not even that egotistical bitch Jill Roberts would blush like you do. So I will ask you the same question I once asked her. Do you love my brother, yes or no?"

After several moments of thought Sarah replied, "Yes!, yes I do Ellie."

" Then show it and stop being so afraid to love him back, tell him Sarah, because if you don't you are going to lose the most loving and caring man you are ever bound to meet in this life. I really want to help you but you have to be honest. Then you need to trust me or Chuck with whatever is holding you both back.

"Ok Ellie but we need to have both Chuck and Casey here to discuss this!" Sarah further explained.

"John Casey! What does he have to do with this? " questioned Ellie as her eyes focused on Sarah.


End file.
